Late-Night Hosts Take Aim At Trump's New 'Gold Card' Visa Plan

TV's prominent comedians used the evening ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's recently unveiled immigration program, called the "golden visa," portraying it as a obvious pay-to-play arrangement for the rich.

Stephen Colbert's Witty Take

Opening his program, Stephen Colbert presented a mock Christmas jingle directed at the commander-in-chief. "He's compiling a list, reviewing it twice, before giving that list to the people at ICE," he intoned. "Trump ... destroys each thing he handles."

The subject was the new initiative that allows overseas individuals to purchase U.S. residency for the price of one million dollars, or "platinum" option for $5 million. An official page guarantees approval "with unprecedented speed."

"One thought for you to wealthy applicants: prior to you pony up, what about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He explained that the scheme is also designed to "extract cash" from firms wanting to hire skilled workers, with hefty fees. "That's a lot of fees, but if you sign up, you additionally get two free nights at a hotel of your selection – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he continued.

"The best vetting the U.S. government has ever done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these applicants truly qualify to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "Question one: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Critique

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"It's a card that will allow affluent foreigners to live here," he explained. "For a million dollars, you get legal resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your choice."

"Maybe it's time to update that message on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your tired masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel mocked the brevity of the application, noting it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Affordability Concerns

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's declining approval numbers during financial anxiety. "The public gave Donald Trump a another term since they were upset about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a attempt to tackle prices, Trump held a briefing in front of a display of grocery items, and behaved peculiarly to boxes of cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a while."

"He is so fucking weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by mocking right-leaning media coverage of Trump's economic record. "Perhaps instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he laughed.